Over the weekend, I talked to a man at a tiki bar about his childhood growing up in Las Vegas. Our conversation stopped the world around us while we carried on at the same speed.
In elementary school, he said, him and his friends smoked the cigarette butts they’d find discarded by adults. A normal childhood had been impossible for him, largely because he was being raised in a cult.
He said the first time he went to Disneyland, however, is when he discovered what happiness was. Now as an adult, Disney theme parks have been his favorite places to go. One day, he rode a single rollercoaster thirty-five times.
We’re not so different though in the way we seek out our predictable joys. During the pandemic I watched Ponyo every month for a year. HBO knows how often I’ve streamed Howl’s Moving Castle or Spirited Away, and almost always when adult life feels wayward. Studio Ghibli films are my Disneyland.
But it’s not just film or TV I revisit for a sense of comfort. There’s certain places, cuisines, and memories too I compulsively seek out, I think, to suspend time for a short while.
So, this conversation made me wonder: why do we revisit what makes us feel happiness, comfort, and nostalgia?
What are the things you consume over and over again?
I asked this question in my chat and on my notes, and here’s what readers said:
This is so weird but when a friend of mine died several years ago my husband went to an IRL video store and rented me DVDs of Little House on the Prairie episodes, which I used to watch as a kid, and I have never felt so comforted and seen.
— Abra
Time and time again I will return to Gilmore Girls (and so many other shows) because it includes all of life’s woes in a lovely, witty, pop culture cluttered package. Really any “old” TV or movie will show me that people have lived, died, learned, and failed and so I will too and I find comfort in that.
— Colin
Here to also say I watch Gilmore Girls. I have been watching that show for a decade now and it never gets old. I think I might have watched it about 50 times?
— Martha
I buy myself boxes of jigsaw puzzles and work through them when I am stressed and it’s lowkey soothing and familiar. I get to focus on this one thing without the pressure of needing to finish it soon, since they are always over 1000 pieces, and work through them over months, whenever I need to.
— Hilda
Hot black coffee and something incredibly sweet to go with it! The warmth and joy just comes flooding in!
— Roshni
If you're meaning something I dropped as a kid that I picked back up as an adult, that would be buying plushies and LEGOs. For plushies…I was just buying more plushies because hugging them felt so fucking great and they were so cute and I remembered how I used to have a dozen as a child. For LEGOs…they had a set on sale for like $25. And building it was so calming??? And rewarding, and the surge of dopamine was too heady to give up, so, I'm a LEGO fan again.
— Delise
Cooking old family recipes genuinely brings me so much nostalgia and joy all at once. Anytime I get to experience the same vibrant flavors and aromas from my past I can’t help but feel like my cheerful younger self all over again. Simple mexican recipes like caldo de pollo, sopa de fidello, or even my grandmas shrimp cocktail! As for the more complex recipes I love my dad’s enchiladas, my grandma’s salsa, and my Tio’s quesabirrias!
— Annika
I think for me it feels so grounding to be reminded that I'm not alone in my thoughts on social commentary. In my personal life l'm lucky to have friends who reflect my values but once I get on platforms like twitter I feel like l'm shocked by cold waves of realising that there are so many people with very distressing points of view. Watching Daria helps me to affirm that not all is bad in the world, that there are people who are being really creative and witty in talking about society.
— theeneighborwoodwriter
I don't know why I've been judging myself a lot for wanting to go back to old books or movies instead of imbibing the new the new the new. This thread is a timely reminder that it's OK to return to what brings comfort! So, for me, Tamora Pierce books, Lord of the Rings, old seasons of Top Chef. Thank you :)
— Shiyani
When I was 21, I spent a lot of time hanging on the edge of cliffs. There’s a cliff in San Francisco where the boy I fell in love with took me to one day. He was adventurous and I liked this about him. We strayed from the path and wandered where you’re not supposed to go. When we pushed through the thickets, the cliff opened up to a view of the Golden Gate Bridge, the bay, and the coastline. He nicknamed it Narnia.
We related on many things. He had an affinity for film photography, like myself, and at this moment took a photo of us, sitting on a rock with his arm wrapped around me. It’s the only photo we have of us at the start of our romance. It’s possibly the most precious thing to me. From then on, whenever we needed a break from our city lives we’d escape to Narnia.
I proposed to him there 7 years later, because it was a place of happiness I desperately wanted to recreate. When we arrived, the cliff’s landing was almost completely eroded away. Of course, time had passed.
Change is a capricious phenomenon, like a cliff’s edge. Dirt and pebbles tumble down the rock face every day. Chunks of earth slip into the ocean with each rain season. The ground is literally always moving.
On planet Earth, change is the one true constant.
So, forgive us humans for wanting a little steadiness under our feet.
After reading all of your submissions, returning to known comforts seems like a peaceful attempt at controlling our daily lives, and like an effective way to reset our mental states.
Now, if we’re ever to feel more comfort in the chaos, I think we have to be willing to embrace the phenomenon of change. Accept the cliff as it falls into the ocean even as it grieves us. We have to be confident that our future will have a potential for happiness no matter what happens—because something will happen. This is why, in the meantime, we’ll ride our favorite rollercoaster, we’ll rewatch our favorite movies, we’ll eat our favorite childhood meals. The future is unpredictable, yes, but along the way we can enjoy the tried-and-true joys of our lives. We can share our happiness with other people…like we’ve done here today!
We can be reassured to keep going.
So many articles are referencing Gilmore Girls, I love this XD
Loves this- so thought provoking for me. I truly have nostalgic warm fuzzies and never thought of them as a means to reset my nervous system. But I guess they do! 😭❤️❤️❤️thanks for this!!